Trust, Friendship and Love
by jaijainagra
Summary: Set after the Extended DLC ending. Destroy ending used. A fanfic about Shepard and Miranda's relationship, spanning ME2 through flashbacks , ME3 and beyond. Some language, violence and smut to come, so making this a M rating.
1. Chapter 1

**A fanfic about Shepard and Miranda's relationship, spanning ME2 (through flashbacks), ME3 and beyond. Please rate and review, it's the only way I know if i'm doing a good job or not.**

It had been 5 hours and 23 minutes since Commander John Shepard had been taken into surgery. Not that Miranda was counting or anything. She just couldn't keep herself from glancing towards the holographic clock in the foyer of Huerta Memorial hospital each time she paced past it. She was anxious.

She had never felt such relief as the moment when the message from one of the search parties scouring the damaged sections of the Citadel had found Shepard alive. Her feelings when she had seen Oriana safe and well on Illium were nothing compared to that. But the relief had turned to fear and anxiety when she had managed to see him for a few brief moments as he was wheeled into the surgery unit. His face and the area of his body that was visible had been covered in bruises and blood. She guessed he had injuries. His dark hair was darker still with blood. It had made her stomach turn over. What if he...?

No. She couldn't think that way. He had survived whatever had happened on the Citadel, and was being seen to by the best doctors there were. One of them had even seemed to know him, for the way she had spoken. He would make it. He had to.

She had just glanced up at the clock again – 5 hours 27 minutes – when a voice came from behind her.

"Miss Lawson. Is there any news?"

She turned. Admiral Hackett had stepped out of the lift unnoticed by her, and was now striding towards her. He looked tired, but less stressed then he had when they had parted last night. The defeat of the Reapers had lifted many peoples spirits, even if the task of rebuilding the galaxy was a daunting one.

"Admiral." Miranda shook Hackett's hand, then shook her head, glancing towards the locked door. "They took him into surgery a while ago. Since then, there's been nothing. Just the occasional doctor coming in and out."

"Hm. I suppose that's to be expected. They need time to assess his injuries and do what they can." Hackett met her gaze. "He'll make it through, Miranda. He's made of stern stuff."

Miranda let out a faint laugh. "I noticed when we worked together. Any news on the Normandy?"

"Not as yet. We can only hope that they will be in contact once the Mass Relays are in better repair."

Miranda felt a twinge. The thought of the Normandy and it's crew being destroyed was horrible, almost as bad as losing Shepard. Finally, tiredness and the strain of the last few days (months really) began to tell on her. She sank down onto one of the foyers chairs with a audible groan.

"How long as it been since you slept, Miss Lawson?" Hackett was frowning.

"A day... maybe two." She glanced up and saw the frown creasing the mans brow. "No, i'm not going to leave. I want to be here when he comes out of-"

"When he does, he will most likely be unconscious or sedated. Besides, what good is staying here going to be if you're dropping dead from lack of sleep?" Hackett's tone turned from stern to gentle at the conflicted look on Miranda's face. "Go and get some rest. There are Alliance facilities on the Citadel if you need to use them..."

"No, I have somewhere I can go." Miranda hesitated. "You'll tell me the moment there's news?"

"You have my word." Hackett said gravely.

"Alright." Miranda took one last look at the door, before turning with a soft sigh towards the lift.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

As the door of the cab closed and the vehicle lifted from the ground, headed towards the address Miranda had programmed in, she leant her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. She hadn't wanted to leave, hadn't wanted to admit to Hackett that he was right, but she was aching all over and very tired. She really needed some sleep, even if it was just for a few hours.

She had a place to stay; an apartment an old contact of hers had said was hers whenever she wanted. It was the apartment in which she had met Shepard the day they had... reacquainted themselves. The memory brought a slight smile to her lips. If only the good memories would stay.

She couldn't get the image of him injured, bloodied from her head. It seemed burnt into her mind, and she couldn't make it disappear, no matter how hard she tried. She had seen him that way before...

In a flash, the memories of Project Lazarus came back to her.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Are we sure this is Shepard?"

She was stood on one side of a floor to ceiling wall of thick glass. Jacob Taylor was stood beside her, arms folded, a slight frown on his face. It was he who had asked the question. On the other side of the glass, a group of Cerberus scientists were clustered, examining the body of...

"Wilson says the DNA profiling matches. It's him." Miranda answered, her gaze never wavering from the other room. "As much as I distrust Liara T'soni, she would want to help Shepard. Perhaps she really believes Cerberus is the best chance Shepard has."

Jacob made a disbelieving sound under his breath. Miranda didn't blame him for his distrust; Cerberus was seen as pro-human and a terrorist organisation. Why would an asari trust them? After a minute, Jacob glanced from the scene before them, to Miranda.

"Do you really think this is possible Miranda? The Illusive Man has near unlimited resources, sure, but he's no miracle worker."

Miranda paused before answering, her eyes finding Shepard's prone form again. A small part of her had been wondering the same. Shepard looked... awful. Burned, wounded, barely human. He had been dead when they had got him. Not breathing, heart stopped, the works. He was only 'alive' because of the machines working as his lungs and heart. This was, without a doubt, the toughest project she had taken on.

But, the Illusive Man had given her a job to do. His words from before, 'See to it that we don't lose him' seemed even more poignant now. She was going to obey her orders, and succeed.

"He might not be, but Cerberus scientists are. I know it's possible." She met Jacob's gaze for a moment, and gave him a slight smile. "And you know i'm never wrong, Jacob."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Despite her confidence, the next 20 months had been a torment. Progress was painfully slow at first, as the beginning stages were, apparently, a painstaking process that needed time and care. Gradually however, improvements came. Soon enough, Miranda was able to physically see the progress that had been made each time she entered the laboratory. The use of cybernetics had greatly sped up the process.

Just after a year had passed, Shepard finally began to breath unassisted. To the scientists, this was a cause of celebration, a sign that everything was going to plan. To Miranda, it was exciting, but just another milestone. Shepard was still badly injured, there was still so much to be done. And there was the nagging doubt she felt about whether Shepard would work with Cerberus or not. He was an Alliance soldier, a man who had seen the darker side of Cerberus. Would he trust them?

It was then that she had thought of it. Using a control chip, or something like it, to adjust Shepard's behaviour. After all, they could have no guarantee that after he woke up, Shepard wouldn't simply leave, or worse, try and destroy the facility. She had put her idea to the Illusive Man. His rejection of the idea had been instantaneous, and had left her frustrated.

A wake-up call came at the 20 month mark. She had come down to the laboratory for a weeking briefing from Wilson about progress. Previously, she had expressed her doubts about his estimates on the doses of sedative and anaesthetic Shepard would need as his metabolism and system improved. Wilson had laughed her off, saying he knew what he was doing.

Once again, the improvement in Shepard's condition was striking. There was extensive scarring over his face and body, but that was something that was being improved upon. Much of his internal system was now almost normal again. Wilson was showing her the rate of improvement on a datapad.

"So as you can see, neurological activity has once again improved by some margin, and testings on his-"

"Wait." Miranda interrupted. Her attention had been caught by a change on one of the monitors showing Shepard's vital signs. "Look. There. On the monitor. Something's wrong."

Wilson, looking dubious, stepped forward and examined the screen. Miranda saw his eyes widen.

"He's reacting to outside stimuli. Showing an awareness of his surroundings." His eyes turned to the bed, and the man upon it. "Oh my God Miranda, I think he's waking up."

Miranda quickly moved to beside the bed. Shepard's eyes were half open. As she watched, they opened wider, and his breathing began to quicken. The heart rate monitor began to pick up.

"Damn it Wilson, he's not ready yet! Give him the sedative." Miranda snapped. The idea that their long months of hard work were about to go to waste because Wilson hadn't bothered to recheck his numbers was infuriating. Her gaze moved to Shepard. She knew he could hear her, and she also knew this must be incredibly disorientating. She saw his head moving, saw him try to lift his hand. God, he was nowhere near ready to try moving yet. Her hand caught his and she pressed it back down to the bed. His eyes focused on her then, and she held his gaze.

"Shepard, don't try to move. Just lie still, try to stay calm." Her voice, her manner, was firm, but calm. Nothing like she felt within. Wilson was at the monitor, watching Shepard's vital signs climb.

"Heart rate still climbing. Brain activity is off the charts." Miranda moved round to the monitor to see for her self as he kept talking. "Stats pushing into the red zone. It's not working!"

"Another dose, now!" Miranda commanded. She knew that to him, she might sound cold, distant. She watched as Wilson pressed something on the computer screen, and saw a needle press into Shepard's arm, administering another dose of the sedative. The effect was instant. The urgent beeps slowed as Shepard's heart rate slowed again. She moved to beside him, and saw that his head was turned, his blue eyes on her. She could see the confusion, the questions in them, beneath the effect of the sedative. She heard Wilson reporting that stats were back in normal range, that they'd almost lost him.

"I told you your estimates were off. Run the numbers again." She snapped. She would certainly be reporting to the Illusive Man about this. Wilson was supposed to be one of their top scientists and yet he had made an almost fatal error.

Her eyes moved to Shepard again, watching as his eyes glazed over, then closed.

"You better not scare me like that again, Shepard." She murmured.

Over the next few weeks and months, she had increased her watchfulness when it came to Wilson, especially when he was dealing with Shepard. She didn't feel right about him, didn't like the way he acted around her. He seemed furtive, even sneaky.

During her free time, she found herself looking up details about Shepard. She had already done a cursory scan of his personnel records when being give her task by the Illusive Man, but now she looked more closely. She actively wanted to know more about the man beneath the calm exterior. She had found everything she could about his past; about Mindoir, his work with the Alliance before the Normandy, what caused that drive he had. She realised later on that this was the beginning of her feelings for John Shepard.

Two years, almost to the day since Commander Shepard had been brought to Project Lazarus, her suspicions about Wilson had been proven right.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_You have reached your destination. Citadel taxis wish you a pleasant night._

Miranda opened her eyes, brought out of her reverie, and glanced out of the taxi. The vehicle had alighted just below the stairs that led to the high-end apartments. With a soft sigh, she got out of the taxi and walked up the stairs, hearing the whooshing sound as the taxi lifted into the air once again.

As she entered the apartment she scanned the room quickly, checking for anything amiss, any sign of trouble. Then she shook herself off. Her time spent hiding from Cerberus had made her hypersensitive to danger or trouble. Old habits died hard, she supposed.

She locked the door behind her, before moving into the apartment. She found some packets of what looked like soup and broth in the kitchen cupboards, but nothing fresh naturally, and not really enough for a biotic to live on. If she was going to be staying here whilst Shepard was recovering, she was going to need to get some supplies.

She paused then, smiling faintly. Not only had she automatically assumed that Shepard would be alive and would recover, but she had also automatically said that she would stay here, with him. Because it was true. Now that the war was over, and now that Cerberus was gone, she no longer had a reason to run, or a reason to be away from him.

Her exhaustion was rolling over her again. She checked the clock and saw that it was the early hours of the morning. She thought briefly about calling Oriana – it was the middle of the day in the little colony she had now settled on to help with rebuilding – but realised she was probably in the middle of the relief effort. She would call in the morning, once it was evening Ori's time.

She quickly heated and ate one of the packets of soup (not that bad, really), went and showered, then borrowed one of her contact's wife's nightdresses and got into the large double bed. She laid on her side, her eyes on the view of the darkened Presidium through the window, and thought of that night with Shepard once again. They had laid here afterwards for a little while, talking about everything and anything. She had hoped, for that small length of time, that she was easing his stress and worry by giving him a shoulder to lean on. He was strong, but still needed someone.

Unbidden, the image of him bruised and battered on that hospital gurney rose in her mind again, and she felt tears pool in her eyes suddenly. She desperately wanted to see him, to know that he was going to make it. Truthfully, she wanted to be able to take the pain she knew was coming to him away. But she knew that was one thing she couldn't do.

She turned her head and pressed it into the pillow lightly, trying to block out the mental images she was seeing. When she finally slept, images of the Normandy, the battles and of Oriana and Shepard came through her dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**OK, i'll be honest... I wasn't expecting this many follows and reviews. If anything, I was thinking this would get no/little interest. Thank you so much, guys. Answers to the reviews will be at the end of the chapter. Enjoy!**

As the lift carried Miranda down to the hospital next morning, her heart was once again pounding in her chest. Hackett had rung her on her omni-tool just after six in the morning, informing her that Shepard had been out of surgery for a couple of hours and was now in a private room. He had waited so long to inform her as he wanted to be sure of Shepard's condition before he let her know.

"And what _is_ his condition?" Miranda had asked. She almost didn't want to know the answer. The pause on the other end of the line lasted for a good ten seconds.

"I think you should come and see for yourself." Had been the response he had finally given. A response she really had not liked. "I'm about to leave, to go and report to the Council and then I will be returning to Earth. Doctor Michel will be awaiting you, however, she was amongst the team working on Shepard overnight."

"Alright, i'll head over shortly. Thank you for letting me know, Admiral."

"Let me know of any progress he makes after I am gone. I'm going to contact the Normandy via the Q.E.C and see what the situation is with them in the meantime."

"I hope they're alright."

"With any luck, they'll be with you in a few days at Shepard's bedside. Good luck, Miss Lawson."

"You too, Admiral."

Now, here she was. There was a curious mix of nervousness and excitement in her stomach. Scenes from her dreams seemed to be playing again in her mind. As the lift doors opened, she tried to shake them away.

"Miss Lawson?" A female voice spoke as Miranda stepped out of the lift. A woman dressed in a doctor's garb was stood there, clearly awaiting her. Miranda nodded. "Doctor Michel. I have been monitoring Commander Shepard. Admiral Hackett asked me to let you know what was happening."

"Yes, he told me." They shook hands, then Miranda hesitated. "How... is he?" She wanted to skip the preliminaries. This was why she was here, both of them knew it.

"If you would follow me, please." Doctor Michel led her out of the lounge area, through to the rooms used for patients. Once they were out of the main room, and away from prying ears, the doctor began to speak.

"The Commander is stable now. We are keeping him sedated for now, to give his body a chance to heal without interference. When he arrived, there were extensive cuts and burns to his body, but also trauma internally. Surgeons and doctors here have managed to heal much of the internal damage, but..."

"But?"

"His recovery will be slow, i'm afraid. Medi-gel and healing can only do so much of the work. There are fractures and wounds that will need time to heal. Afterwards, he will need time to regain his strength and the full use of his body again. It will not be easy but then..." The doctor paused, then gave a slight smile. "The Commander never does things the easy way."

Miranda smiled in return. Didn't she know that was the truth?

"You speak as though you know him."

"He and Garrus Vakarian saved me a few years ago now, from mercenaries storming my clinic. Shepard burst in and... cleaned house. They would have I am glad to finally be able to return the favour, even if it is a few years too late."

Relief was sweeping through Miranda now, as the news finally sank in. He was going to be alright...

"You're sure he will recover?"

"I'm sure that he has a very good chance of mending. There is something else..." Again, the doctor paused, as if unsure what to say. They had now paused outside a patient room, and Miranda was certain this was Shepard's. She wanted to be in there, but also wanted to hear what the doctor had to say.

"Yes?" Miranda prompted.

"We have been monitoring his mental activity, whilst he has been unconscious and then sedated. At first, the activity we were seeing was very strong. Strong beta waves, frequent eye flickering and twitching of the body and face. As though he were reacting strongly to a dream or nightmare. Then, about two hours into our work, all of the symptoms died down. He slipped into... what I can only describe as a coma. We have administered the sedative merely as a precautionary measure."

"You... think he was dreaming? Perhaps about what happened before the Reapers were defeated?"

The Doctor looked uncomfortable.

"That is merely guess work on my part. Shepard has been through many traumas and hardships, Miss Lawson. Events that would have broken many weaker men. Is it so difficult to imagine they would affect his dreams?"

No... it wasn't difficult to imagine at all. But then, there was no way to find out the true cause until Shepard woke up.

"Can I go in to see him now?" She asked after a few seconds silence.

"Of course. I'll leave you alone. Just notify us when when you're done, or if you need anything. This is a closed room, for Shepard's security."

"I will. Doctor?" Michel, who had turned to walk away, paused and looked back. "Thank you."

The doctor merely gave a smile and a nod. Then she swept off up the corridor, while Miranda turned to open the door.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It looked like an ordinary hospital room, by Citadel standards at least. White, clinical, a nice view through the window. She didn't know why this had surprised her, what was she expecting, a gold plated bed? It just seemed so... plain, so dull considering what Shepard had just done.

When her eyes fell upon Shepard, however, all thoughts about the room slipped from her mind.

He looked so much better then when she had last seen him, though clearly still injured. His face and chest were still covered with bruises and cuts, of course, but the blood and dirt that had covered him was gone, and the cuts visible were cleaned and healing. There were bandages around a section of his chest, supporting his ribcage she guessed, and a cast of some sort on his arm.

He looked... well... not normal, but better. And that eased a weight in Miranda's chest. She took a seat in the chair beside the bed and looked down at him for a moment.

"Hi, John." She said quietly. She immediately felt silly, talking when he was sedated, but... perhaps he could hear? She hoped so. "I wanted to come and visit. You gave me quite a scare back there, along with a lot of others."

She hesitated, then stretched her hand out and squeezed his gently. It was comforting to be able to touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin.

"I wish you could see what's happening now. People of all species are banding together, helping each other in their hour of need. All the fighters down on Earth are helping to rebuild. They're proclaiming you a hero." She gave a slight laugh. "Again, I should say."

She paused again.

"You need to get through this, John. All those people want to be able to welcome home their hero, to thank him for all he has done. And... I want to be able to be there with you when you take a break from all of this madness. We've both earned it, don't you think?"

She stayed for a little while longer, mainly just holding his hand, watching his even breathing, listening to the faint beeping sounds the monitors made. She knew there wasn't much point staying when he wasn't awake and wouldn't be for some time, but leaving was going to be hard. Finally, she made herself let go of his hand and stood up, pausing only to plant a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I love you." She whispered. "Wake up soon." Then, before the tears she felt coming could spill, she left the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It was only later, when she had been to a store on the Citadel and brought some proper food, then headed back to the apartment, that Miranda remembered that she still hadn't called Oriana. When she checked her omni-tool, she found an email from her younger sister, asking anxiously if she was alright. Miranda immediately felt guilty for not contacting sooner. She pressed the 'call' option, and was pleased when the sound of the ringing tone came in her ear. The Mass Relays must be operating better. She got to Oriana's voicemail.

Miranda rushed out a quick message, apologising for the delay in calling, and letting Oriana know that she was alive and well. She mentioned that she was currently on the Citadel, but didn't mention why. She was unsure whether Shepard being on the Citadel was public knowledge as yet. She would tell her though. If she knew her sister, Oriana would be just as concerned about Shepard as she was. He had, after all, helped Miranda save her twice. In fact, it was thanks to him that the two of them had built this relationship at all...

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Two days ago, Miranda had only known her sister from afar. Through contacts and reports, she had watched her grow from the baby she had rescued, to the beautiful young woman she was now... but she had never talked to her, never even seen her face to face. Now, they had met face to face on Illium, and were talking together tonight as though they had always known each other.

In many ways, the two sisters were very alike. They were, after all, genetically identical. They had the same tastes in music and literature, and both had great intellect. They were also both talented, although Oriana's skills were more in creativity and the arts, while Miranda had more of a science and theory approach.

There were slight differences, of course. Oriana had a great sense of wit and humour, one she gave her adoptive father credit for. This was one trait Miranda did _not _share. These little differences were, in her mind, a blessing. If they had been practically identical and perfect in every way, talking together might have become tedious.

"So, you're working with Commander Shepard?" Oriana's unexpected question completely disarmed Miranda, and thus she wasn't as quick at coming out with a viable response as she might normally have been.

"... what makes you say that?" She had finally managed. _Expertly done, Miranda..._

"You're not the only one able to do some research, big sis. Not to mention the fact that I recognised him when you walked into the lift together." There was a smile in Oriana's voice. There wasn't a lot of point lying now, Miranda supposed.

"Yes, i'm working with him. What we're doing, though, I can't..." She paused, but Oriana didn't need her to finish her sentence.

"That's alright. I expected as much. Whatever you're doing must be important."

"It is. Very important." Miranda allowed.

"You and he will get it done. Shepard seems like a good sort. He's persuasive, good at what he does, strong... good looks never hurt either." She gave a giggle.

"Very true." Miranda said, without thinking. Her cheeks immediately flushed when she realised what she'd said.

"Oh! You've noticed that too, then?"

"It's hard not to when you're in such close proximity so often." Miranda answered. "Not that it matters. We're working together."

"Doesn't mean you can't mix a little business with pleasure." Oriana said, with another giggle. Then, when Miranda didn't answer. "Oh come on, i'm just teasing. You can't tell me you haven't thought about it though. You're only human, Miri, you've got to live a little."

Those words had stayed with Miranda. For so long now, she'd stayed purely professional. Wanting to succeed in all the Illusive Man set her to do, wanting to prove herself... and also, deep down, scared of ending up hurt. She had kept others away for so long, abandoned almost all her old ties, and yet her father had still managed to get to her. He had turned Niket, her closest and oldest friend, against her. Who was to say it wouldn't happen again, if she got close to another?

… but Shepard wasn't like Niket. Or like anyone else she had met. She had had her doubts about his real motives, had watched him closely for any signs he was going to trick them. There had been nothing. In fact, instead of shunning the Cerberus members of his crew, he had made a point of meeting them all and getting acquainted. When on missions, he was calm, methodical, and steady. He had gone out of his way to help a young quarian on the Citadel accused of stealing, and then had squared up to the C-Sec guard and volus who had accused her when they had continued to be pigheaded.

And then there were his actions when it came to her sister. When Miranda had first heard the rumours she had been nervous, not least because she knew she could not handle this alone. She had honestly been unsure that Shepard would agree, not with so much at stake. But he had, almost immediately. He had allowed her to dictate where they went, the course of action. Had turned to her for advice on the battleground. Had stepped in when she was about to kill Niket, and potentially make a huge mistake. He had trusted her, guided her. And now, she trusted him. More then that... she greatly liked him.

Later that night, when Shepard came to talk to her, all of these thoughts were still in her mind. So, when Shepard talked about not being able to admire her body or her mind, and that being a shame, she reacted on impulse.

"Oh, thank you..." She paused a moment, then turned to face him. "Perhaps I wouldn't mind if you admired my body."

She had seen a flicker of surprise in his eyes. Perhaps this turn of events had been something he hadn't expected. Then he'd given a slight smile, stepped closer.

"You wouldn't, huh?"

She laughed slightly.

"I think I could live with it." Understatement.

"Well it's only fair. You've had two years to look at me, and I was wearing far less then you are."

He was close now, intimately close, and somewhere deep within, her body reacted to that, wanted him this closer, closer still. That unnerved her slightly.

"Shepard." She put a hand on his chest, held him back. "Wait. We shouldn't do this."

To her mingled relief and disappointment, he took a step up.

"Scared, Miss Lawson?"

She raised her eyebrows slightly at him, and saw a flicker of amusement on his face in response.

"Cautious, Commander Shepard." She corrected him. "But... interested. Very interested."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Before going back to the hospital next morning, Miranda took a walk on the Presidium. It was quiet as she walked down the steps towards the Apollo Cafe. Many of the stores and booths set up here were closed, or didn't have assistants there to ask questions. She guessed these people were at home with their families, or helping to repair the damaged areas of the Citadel. Not just from the Crucible, but from Cerberus' attack as well.

It was hard to imagine, in the peace and calm of this place, that mere days ago a whole portion of the structure had been destroyed by the Crucible's beam. That lives had been taken that day. That below this place, in the wards and the makeshift refugee camp, people were suffering and in grief. It was as though the Presidium was this little bubble of calm and solitude. But even here, there were signs of attack, places where grenades and bullets had clearly left their marks. The bubble was bursting.

Suddenly, Miranda really felt like she needed a drink. A strong one. She went and sat at a table in the Apollo cafe and ordered without really seeing the display on the menu pad. Her mind was on Cerberus, and how they had attacked the Citadel without seemingly giving a damn about the lives on board. How assassins and ex-colleagues had come after her without a qualm when the Illusive Man ordered them too. How her father, in league with Cerberus, had tried to take her sister and kill her. She knew there was no sense in dwelling in the past anymore. Cerberus was finished, and the Illusive Man dead, if the reports about the body found close to the body of David Anderson were correct. But Cerberus had been part of her life for so long... it was hard to simply get past that.

She could guess what Shepard would say to her, were she to voice this. Your past isn't what defines you, your actions are. He would see the fact that she had left Cerberus, worked against them in the end, as her making up for before. And her feelings of guilt over thoughts she had had in the past? Particularly about planting a control chip in Shepard's brain? Well, she already knew his thoughts on that. Didn't make it any easier to think about...

As she started heading back towards the lift, intending to make another stop at the hospital before going to the embassy or the C-Sec offices, a human man appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Hey, hey lady. Want to be red sand? It'll take the edge off all your worries today." His voice was a whisper, despite the lack of people around. Miranda glanced towards the C-Sec outpost, a short distance away.

"I'm not interested." She stated, before moving past him. He followed.

"Oh, don't be like that sugar. Tell you what, you let me have some of your services, i'll give you a discount." There was a leering note in the man's voice. It was quite clear what 'services' he thought she provided. Miranda turned on him at once.

"I'm not a hooker!"

"Yeah right, you're in that outfit and expect me to believe that?" He made a grab for her waist, but she pushed him back at . "Oh come on honey, don't be such a-"

"Hey!" This was a new voice. One Miranda recognised. It came from behind her. "Back off asshole, or you'll have both of us to deal with."

"What lady, you her pimp or something? Maybe if you play your cards right, both of you can have a little fun."

"Ugh. I don't have the patience for this!" Miranda burst out. She sent a blast of biotic energy at the junkie at the exact moment a shockwave came from behind her, missing her by inches. The man was catapulted backwards and fell, screaming, to a lower level of the Presidium. When Miranda looked over the edge, she saw him limping as quickly as he could away from the general area. She looked round at the woman behind her, shock on her face.

"Shit, Cheerleader, I told you that outfit made you look like a whore." Jack scoffed.

**Oh, how I like cliffhangers. OK, answers time!**

**Guest (wish I knew your name to thank you): Thanks for the advice. I decided to take it and switch to default John, that'll be in effect once this is up.**

**Patient131071: Oh, did it come across in that way? Sorry, that wasn't my intent at all. In my mind, Miranda was the Project's director. She'd have knowledge, and be involved with what happens to Shepard, but Wilson as the head tech would need to brief her on what's happening when she's not around. Thank you for the review!**

**Gammer: Thanks. I want to show that this isn't just going to be 'Oh hey, Shepard's alive, everybody party!' There's suffering on all sides.**

**Nutt Man 117: Thank you very much :)**

**welsh12: Ooh... That's quite a compliment to me, thank you.**

**CADGuy: Totally agree with you. OK, the different 'interpretations' of a scene can be interesting, but beyond that it's just the same events again and again. Of course, key scenes matter to the story arc, so i'll keep them, but originality is needed too.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for there being a bit of a delay, folks. I wasn't having a lot of chances to be on my computer, and then had a severe case of writers block. Hope this makes up for it. Again, answers to reviews at the end of the chapter. Enjoy!**

This was one situation Miranda hadn't foreseen. She had never expected to be sat on a bench on the Citadel with Jack, looking out over the Presidium and talking over old times. It seemed time had changed both of them.

Jack seemed different, and not just in her clothing or her hair. It was her mannerisms, her persona; she hold herself differently now, and seemed more at ease in herself. She had grown up in the months they had spent apart, had changed... just as Miranda had. The night they had been together, Shepard had said that Jack had undergone a 'transformation'. Miranda hadn't been sure what he meant at the time... but she did now.

"I have to say, I didn't think i'd see you around, Jack."

Jack gave a slight laugh, leaning forward so that her elbows were on her knees and she was looking back at Miranda.

"Look who's talking. Aren't you supposed to be hiding from Cerberus right now? They don't like it much when their operatives decide to quit, i've right."

"I don't think they're in much of a position to be looking for me right now. Shepard all but decimated them. Plus I... wanted to do what I could to help Earth, so I joined in with the Alliance. What about you?"

"The Alliance offered me a job. Teaching biotics at Grissom Academy. After the place got destroyed by Cerberus, my students wanted to join in the fight, so we did." Jack's face had softened slightly as she mentioned her students. "They've done great. Saved some lives with barriers and such. And now, they're doing what they can to help rebuild."

"Are they back on Earth?"

Jack nodded.

"They're helping with the relief effort, but... I wanted to come up here, when I heard Shepard was alive." She met Miranda's eyes. "How's he doing?"

Miranda explained succinctly about his injuries and how he was being kept in sedation temporarily. Unlike others she had spoken to, Jack didn't try to comfort her or say that he would be fine, which she was glad for. The fact was that they didn't know that was the case. Until Shepard opened his eyes, they could have no idea of the true state of his health. How long he would still need to heal, or indeed, if he would be able to heal completely. Not just physical either; mental. Such traumatic experiences were bound to leave scars.

"I told the dumbass not to trust Cerberus." Jack said suddenly. "Told him off for it too, gave him a hell of a slap back on Grissom. Bastard deserved it."

Miranda managed to hold back a smile. Shepard had told her about that, but conveniently left out the slap.

"Don't I deserve one too, in that case?"

"You sure did before." Jack muttered. "But nah... I was generally pissed at everything in the place, thanks to Cerberus getting in. He just happened to be in the way, and hadn't listened to me."

"We... both should have listened to what you said." Miranda said. Jack looked round at her sharply, puzzled. Miranda took a deep breath. "I think... I owe you an apology. After we'd seen the truth of what happened on Pragia, when you came to confront me about whether that was wrong or not... I shouldn't have said what I did. I called you a mistake, and that was utterly wrong of me. Cerberus was the mistake, not you. You were just a frightened kid."

Jack seemed stunned to silence for a moment.

"Are you playing a damn game or something? What happened to 'Cerberus is for the greater good, Cerberus is always right'?"

"I grew up." Miranda said simply. "Cerberus wasn't always right, and neither was I. If anything, I was blind. I believed the Illusive Man's primary goal was to help humanity. His real goal was to gain _power_, even if that was at a great price. Not to mention the fact that he duped me, and worked with my father..."

Her voice drifted off. After a second, Jack spoke up.

"Cerberus always finds a person's weaknesses and uses them. Either to get their help, like with you, or to hurt them and bend them to their will."

"Like you." Miranda said quietly. Jack nodded.

It felt so strange. They weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination, not yet, but... there was that cord of understanding there now that hadn't been before. That was certainly cooling off the hostilities.

They sat there together for a while, talking about the Normandy and it's crew, and the times they had both experienced. Miranda had taken on the human reaper alongside Shepard and Garrus, and told Jack what that had been like. In return, Jack talked about when she and Grunt had accompanied Shepard to get the Reaper IFF – and when they had met Legion, of course. Battling all those husks had been just up her alley. And Grunt? Well, Grunt loved getting right into the thick of things.

Finally, they walked together back towards the upper levels of the Presidium, heading towards the lift. As they reached it, and Miranda pressed the button to call it, she glanced towards Jack.

"Do you want to come down and see how he's doing for yourself?"

Jack thought for a second, then shook her head.

"You said he was still sedated, right? I'll wait until he's back with us. No offence, but doing the whole 'watching-by-his-beside' thing is your job."

"What will you do for now?"

"Head back to Earth. Help with the relief effort, guide my students. Be the good little Alliance brass.

Miranda gave a faint laugh.

"Bet you never thought you'd be saying _that_."

"Hell no. I guess..." Jack hesitated "Shepard and the Normandy and his mad as hell crew taught me one thing. Being part of a team can be better then running alone. And the Alliance have really given me a good break."

"You look good for it." Miranda admitted.

"Well, so do you." It didn't sound like Jack was saying that grudgingly. It actually sounded sincere. The lift arrived then, and Miranda stepped into it.

"Hey. Tell Shepard from me to wake the hell up. And when he does, tell him he owes me another dance in Purgatory."

"Will do. Take care, Jack."

"You too, Cheerleader."

And with that, the doors of the lift closed. Miranda really hadn't foreseen _any_ of that.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

For the next few days, events were virtually the same. The doctors had advised Miranda that sitting by Shepard's bedside for hours on end would serve no purpose whilst he was under the effects of the sedatives. So, she came once or twice a day, to sit with him and talk. She had made sure to deliver Jack's little message.

On the fourth day, she went to visit the Alliance headquarters on the Citadel. There, she had used the Q.E.C to communicate. First with Admiral Hackett to exchange news.

"Admiral Anderson is to be buried next week. We're building a monument to him, and to the other soldiers from all the different species who lost their lives. I'm hoping Shepard will be able to be here."

"I hope so too, Admiral." Miranda answered. "The doctors say that once he's healed to a certain level, they'll take him off sedation."

"Good." Hackett paused for a second, and then said. "Miranda, I was wondering if you would contact the Normandy from here, and tell them the progress. I have a feeling they would like to hear the news from someone who has been there and seen the progress first hand."

Miranda hesitated. Would the Normandy's crew actually believe her? Would they trust her?

"Certainly, Admiral."

"Good. The Q.E.C operator there will be able to hail the Normandy for you. Hackett out."

Miranda moved back from the Q.E.C, and watched as the operators hands flew over the controls.

"Patching you through to the Normandy now, Ma'am." He informed her.

"Thank you." Miranda waited. Her heart was pounding. This was irrational, she knew... but she still felt nervous.

After about ten seconds, a woman appeared. She seemed uncertain as she took in Miranda, clearly expecting someone else.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"My name is Miranda Lawson. I used to be part of the Normandy's crew. I have news about Commander Shepard."

"Oh, thank goodness." The woman breathed, relief washing over her face. "Admiral Hackett said he'd let us know, but he's so busy on Earth. I'm Specialist Traynor, Miss Lawson, i've been acting as the Commander's personal assistant in the last few months. I'll inform Major Alenko straight away."

She disappeared. Miranda sighed slightly, waiting. Kaidan Alenko. She didn't know the man, and so was uncertain what his reaction would be to an ex-Cerberus officer giving him information about Shepard.

After a few minutes, the Major arrived... accompanied by Liara T'Soni and Garrus Vakarian. Garrus' face at least was one she recognised and was glad to see.

"Miss Lawson." Kaidan seemed unsure how to address her, as did Liara. Garrus, however, seemed fine with it all.

"Miranda. Good to see you again." Garrus said, nodding at her.

"You too, Garrus." Miranda said with a slight smile, before meeting Kaidan's eyes. "Admiral Hackett asked me to let the Normandy's crew know about Commander Shepard's condition."

"You've seen him?" Liara asked. She looked tense.

"Yes. I'm on the Citadel, i've been visiting him at Huerta Memorial. He's alive, and healing, but he's under heavy sedation. They say he will recover though. With luck, he'll be awake soon."

"Thank the Goddess..." Liara breathed, while Kaidan let out a little groan of relief, breaking his professional soldier look. Garrus had merely nodded, but Miranda thought she saw a softening of expression. Not that it was easy to tell with a turian.

"I'm sorry that I don't have more solid information yet." Miranda said apologetically.

"It's good to hear that he's alive, at least. All Hackett could say was that Shepard had been taken to hospital, before he had to dash off. Everyone's been frantic waiting for news." Kaidan admitted. "It'll be great to give them some good news."

"What's the Normandy's status?" Miranda asked. The last she had heard, the Normandy was being repaired after a crash landing.

"We crashed on an uncharted planet after passing through one of the Mass Relays. From my understanding, we got through in the nick of time. There was extensive damage, but EDI assures us that we'll be able to get it flyable again within two weeks. Then we'll fly to the Citadel and get repairs done there, if we can."

"I'm glad it's good news. I was afraid when I heard the Normandy was missing."

"Well, we couldn't let Shepard take _all_ the attention." Garrus said, his mandibles twitching slightly in what Miranda recognised as a turian version of a smile. She had often seen Shepard and him sat in the canteen, laughing and bantering.

"Of course you couldn't." Miranda said, humour in her voice.

"Miranda?" Liara asked. "Tell him everyone here is thinking of him."

"And there's a round of drinks waiting for him when he gets out of that hospital bed." Garrus said. From the grin on his face, this was some inside joke she didn't get.

"And we'll be there soon. Annoying him until he throws us out." Kaidan said with a slight laugh.

"Will do. Take care, all of you." Miranda said with a smile. She was about to turn away when...

"Miranda?"

Liara and Garrus were gone, but Kaidan was still standing there, a serious look on his face. Miranda again felt nervous, though she had no clue why.

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're with him. He talked about you a lot, you know, during our free time. When we went to Sanctuary, and Kai Leng was there..." He hesitated, seeming unsure how to describe it. "I've rarely seen him like that before. He was hellbent on getting to you."

Miranda lowered her eyes, remembering for a moment fighting with Kai Leng, but managing to get through it thanks to Shepard's warning before... Oriana trying to shoot her father... Shepard entering the room with Kaidan and EDI. He had seemed calm, measuring the situation just like he always had, but after...

"_You found her. And I found you. That's all that matters."_

"_Did you worry?"_

"_Of course I worried."_

"I can imagine he was." She said softly, then let a slight laugh out. "He's always been a stubborn bastard."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Five days after Shepard had first come to Huerta Memorial came the news Miranda had been waiting for. Doctor Michel believed that Shepard's wounds were healed sufficiently for him to be taken off sedation. He would soon be awake.

Miranda stood beside Shepard, watching as the doctor checked his vital signs and pupil dilation. Somehow, this was the tensest she had felt since finding out he was alive. She felt like waiting for his eyes to open would be agony.

"I'm afraid there's no real way to tell when he will wake up." Doctor Michel said as she took a step back. "You can, of course, stay with him if you wish."

"Yes, I... I want to be here." Miranda answered at once. Doctor Michel hesitated for a moment. Miranda saw her open her mouth to speak, perhaps to comfort her or something along those lines... but then she merely nodded before leaving the room.

Miranda thought it was going to be a long night. She was wrong.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She had begun to drift in and out of sleep when it happened, a few hours into her vigil at his bedside. Her head was leant against the bed, her hand on Shepard's.

She'd try to tell herself not to fall asleep. What if he woke up whilst she was out for the count? And besides, there was no reason for her to feel tired! But somehow, the quiet of the room, the soft lighting, the scenic view through the window, all of it combined to make her eyelids droop.

It was then she felt Shepard's hand twitch in hers. For a moment, she thought she had imagined it. Then, it happened again. The slightest contracting of his fingers, his hand around hers. She opened her eyes and lifted her head, looking up at him.

His head was moving. Turning slightly. Again, his hand moved in hers. Miranda let the faintest gasp out. Was this it?

"John? John... can you hear me?"

He moved again, seemingly at the sound of her voice, and let a low groan out.

"Oh God..." Excitement and fear combining within her, Miranda got up quickly and ran to the door, opening it, looking up and down the corridor. Some bemused looking doctors and staff looked back at her. There was no sign of Doctor Michel though.

"Doctor? Please, someone find Doctor Michel, Shepard's waking up!"

One of the doctors ran off, seemingly to get Michel. Miranda quickly moved to Shepard's side again. His eyes were opening up, fluttering half-way. Automatically, she reached out and cupped his cheek with her hand, looking at him, desperate.

"John. Come on, wake up, please wake up."

Finally, as if in slow motion, his eyes opened fully. He seemed to be having problems focusing for a few seconds... then his eyes fixed on hers. She saw recognition flash in them, and a surge of relief washed through her. _He recognises me..._ She'd been terrified he wouldn't. His hand reached out for hers and she took it, her fingers interlacing with his.

"Miranda..." His voice was hoarse, grating. Just that one word set him off coughing.

"No no, don't try and talk. Anything that needs to be said can be said later." She glanced back at the door for a second. "You're in hospital, John. Huerta Memorial hospital." Again, she saw recognition at the name.

"The Citadel?" His voice was still hoarse, but there was no coughing this time. When Miranda nodded, he let out what sounded like a relieved sound. "What happened? To the Reapers?"

He remembered that too.

"They're gone. Destroyed. You defeated them, it's all over." She saw the comprehension of that dawn slowly on his face. The relief, the same countless millions of people were feeling right now, thanks to him.

"It's over... Thank god, it's over." His voice broke on the last word. Miranda tightened her grip on his hand in response. It was rare for him to show emotion, or indeed fear... but this was a momentous occasion.

"I owe you an apology, Miss Lawson." He said suddenly. His voice was stronger then before.

"An apology?" She repeated, not understanding. "For what?"

"Back on Earth. I promised i'd come and find you when this was all over. I've broken that promise." There was the faintest smile on his face, the old spark to his eyes. He was teasing her lightly... but she could tell he meant that. She let out a slightly tearful laugh, feeling the happy tears now sparkling in her eyes.

"You were a little busy. Saving the galaxy. Being the hero. I think I can forgive you."

He seemed about to answer, but his eyelids were starting to droop again. She saw him try and force his eyes to stay open.

"No, don't." She said quietly. "Sleep. I'll be here."

He reached up his hand just for a moment, and cupped her face with his hand. His eyes locked on hers... and then slowly closed as he passed out once again.

Despite the briefness of the moment, and the fact he was now out cold again, the stress and fear Miranda had felt over the past few days had washed away, to be replaced by elation. He had recognised her, spoke her name, and asked her about events. He had remembered one thing she had said, and the promise he had made in return.

Everything would be alright. She knew that now.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**I'm working on a couple more chapters, trying to get them out before I go on holiday in a couple of weeks. Review answer time!**

**Mask211: Thank you! I took a little break from flashbacks this chapter to drive the story forward a little, but the next few chapters have some.**

**Nutt Man 117: Haha, I was thinking of that too, but... ehh, him being chucked halfway across the Presidium made me giggle, so I stuck with that.**

**Gammer: By 'going my own way' i'm guessing you mean developing the story? Don't worry, lots of storyline development ongoing.**

**CADGuy: Ta very much!**

**Robbie: Aww, thank you. I always try and make characters from games and such true to their in-game personalities, to get into their mindset.**


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